“Run”! Said Howle, a loud crash woke up Silas, Howle’s older sister, she got out of bed, an old leather couch, and ran out the door nearly escaping the flames that engulfed the redwood door frame and the oak door, what was happening? Thought Silas then asked the same thing “what’s happening” “no idea” said Howle, “gas leak”? Asked Silas “nope, didn’t explode and there’s no smell” he replied. Silas could see three people dressed in rags smiling up at the burning house…
One of the smiling figures saw Silas and pulled out a long old fashion musket lit it up and fired at Silas and the last words he heard were “and the winner is”!…
I love this! You’ve taken a prompt that is normally associated with feelings of pride and happiness and placed it within a thriller/horror. I would certainly HATE to be awoken in this way, and your rag dressed culprits have given me the spooks… You should be very proud of your story, I wish I could find out more.
To make your work even better, try using more full stops. Shorter sentences build suspsence fabulously and it will make your plot even more mysterious.
Can’t wait to see more from you.